Holy Fish I'm Bored!

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. This is most unfortunate- I had hoped to enjoy my summer, now I'm always dwelling on the ever apparent fact that I have few friends to share my summer with. Meh. I know I've always been somewhat of a loner, but this is ridiculous. I really miss having a pen pal at times like this; writing the letters really helped get things off my mind.

Anyway, enough complaining from me- I have more important things to write about.

I went to visit my dad yesterday (they moved him to a special care hospital because of his UTI and his hemoglobin was really low). I don't know if we just caught him at a bad time or if this is normal now, but I'm really not sure if he knew who I was. Which is depressing. We all know that he'll never get any better than he is now physically, but watching him crash and burn like this mentally is really quite awful. He doesn't even try to talk anymore- at least he hasn't all the times that I've gone up there. And yesterday he was barely shaking his head... I really don't think there's much time left for him mentally- I can only hope that his body gives up soon, or he'll be existing without knowing who his family is, or that he even has a family at all.

Why am I crying now?

There was a point when all I wanted was for him to be gone, but... Never like this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Anyway...

Our big Fourth of July fireworks show is tomorrow night. My mother managed to convince my aunt that we should have our annual cook out even though we're all strapped for cash. We really don't need hot dogs, hamburgers AND brats. Nor do we necessarily need four different kinds of salad and three deserts. Everyone always complains that we have too much food, so I figured if we kept it simple, it would keep costs down too. I think what got her was the prospect of fruit pizza. I make a MEAN fruit pizza. I'll have to go get the makings for it tonight though, so I won't be going to see the second night of fireworks. Oh well, it's only fifteen minutes long; the real show is tomorrow.

.... hm. If anyone read this, I would post up the recipe for fruit pizza. It's really good, so I definitely don't mind sharing. =)

I don't know if I should sign off here or drag this out a little longer. I'm really, REALLY bored right now, so I might rant about a few more things as they come to me. Hopefully they'll be a little more cheerful than the last few... whatever.

Grr, I don't even feel like knitting I'm so out of it. I wonder if I shouldn't make an appointment with my psychiatrist. I'm not sure the antidepressant is working any more, I've been so down lately. Maybe it's just the weather, or maybe it's just me... I don't know, but I hope my mood picks back up soon- being depressed sucks.

What else should I write about? This is usually where I sign off, so I'm kinda short on ideas. I SHOULD be getting the ingredients for that pizza, but I just don't feel like it. Damn you, chronic dysthymia, damn you to hell.

My cat is adorable... And covered in cement dust... Goofy cat, anyway.